Pressure and expectations can ruin your momentum as a builder.
I think that’s obvious.
I’ve felt it, and I talk to a lot of people every week who are building stuff online so…I know for a fact some of you have felt it too.
So I wanted to share a weird piece of business advice I got from one of my best friends in college that I think about a lot.
Especially while I’m building directories (but this applies to any business I want to start).
Back in my junior year of college, I was basically a nobody.
My grades were bad, I didn’t really have a solid friend group, and I was kind of floating around trying to find where I fit.
Eventually, I joined a club at school called AMA, the American Marketing Association.
I met a guy named Kevin (now one of my best buds) who had just become the club president. We became good friends and I started getting super involved in the club.
A year later, he was graduating and there was this clear path for me to take over next.
The catch? It was 20-30 hours a week of extra work.
You’re basically running an $80k ARR business for free, while still trying to pass your classes.
On top of that, everyone looks to you when something goes wrong.
I wanted the leadership experience. I wanted to learn how to delegate and organize and run something real.
But I was visibly anxious and overwhelmed at the thought of managing a 400-person club. It was like imposter syndrome, but times a million.
That’s when Kevin told me something I’ll never forget.
He said, “Dude Frey, the worst thing you can do is quit.”
At first that didn’t feel helpful. It added more pressure.
But then I realized all of this stress was sitting on top of this unspoken idea that quitting equals failure. And once I questioned that, it helped me realize that rarely in life are the stakes that high.
Because honestly, it’s just a college club at the end of the day.
That idea stuck with me.
And these days, I remind myself that that’s an option whenever I feel boxed in. Whenever I feel like I have to succeed or everything was a waste.
The truth is, it’s okay to quit.
Not in a way where you’re looking for the exit the moment something gets hard. But in a way where you recognize that if you really tried, and it’s not right for you, you can step away.
Like, I don’t build new directories thinking every single one needs to be a hit. It’s just not realistic. Sometimes the win is learning something new. Sometimes it’s figuring out what doesn’t work. And then sometimes you move on.
Ironically, it’s what has led to my directories working because I can focus more on a value-first approach.
My failures are my best stories
In my entire journey as a builder, I’ve tried and failed at a lot of things.
One of the ones I used to be embarrassed about was my old footwear business.
I spent three years growing it and realized at some point I needed to learn Facebook ads. So I dove in.
Long story short, I burned the first $10,000 (which was a massive chunk of my business liquidity back then) running FB ads that basically amounted to no ROAS.
That was painful.
But it taught me that learning any worthwhile skill is like learning a new language.
You don’t learn it by watching. You have to immerse yourself in it. And I thought I was so smart going in, then got humbled badly.
With another business, I used to flip items I’d find at garage sales.
I remember one time driving seventy miles just to buy this Beanie Baby collection.
I saw a photo of one of the bears listed on the garage sale post, looked it up on eBay, and someone had paid two thousand dollars for that exact bear!
I thought I struck gold. So, I drove all the way there, bought the entire lot, came back and realized that Beanie Baby sold listings on eBay are super manipulated.
It wasn’t worth anything.
That taught me the value of time. It reminded me to respect my time and research a little deeper next time.
So yeah. Whether you quit or keep going and fail, it doesn’t really matter.
Especially when it comes to building things on the internet.
And I wish more people saw it that way. Because it would probably remove a lot of the fear and expectation that comes from trying to make something work right away.
Most people expect their first project to be the rent-payer.
In reality, your first project is most likely where you pay your “tuition” for getting in the game. That tuition might be time, or money, or effort.
In exchange, you learn the lesson. And the lesson is what increases your odds of eventually building something that does pay your rent.
I know this newsletter is a different vibe this week, but I talk to a lot of builders. Staying motivated with something slow and unsexy is really hard. We’re all addicted to dopamine and quick wins.
So if this helps you zoom out and breathe a little, great.
If you’re hesitating to start because you’re afraid it might not work, maybe just accept that the worst case scenario is you quit. And that’s okay too.
Keep Building,
Frey
